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恕﹐真正的意義不是原諒敵人﹐而是放過自己﹐因為那個「敵人」﹐根本不存在﹐是自我投射的幻覺。幻覺﹐並非不真實﹔相反﹐我們常把幻覺﹐視為唯一的真相。

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我們越寬恕「敵人」﹐就越憤怒﹐因為搞錯對象。寬恕﹐其實不是原諒對方﹐因為這預設對方真的傷害了我。這種我「對」你「錯」的二元對立﹐是作繭自縛的死胡同﹐令我盯著對方的過錯﹕「是你搞成我這樣﹗」以受害者自居﹐就需要去攻擊對方﹐把自身問題﹐投射出去﹐變成他人的問題。這種憤怒背後﹐往往潛藏著深層的內疚和自責。結果﹐越攻擊對方﹐就越傷害自己﹐整個人支離破碎﹐再沒有愛的能力。這是宇宙規律﹕投射什麼出去﹐最終雙倍衝擊自己。

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未寬恕對方﹐只因未寬恕自己。比如﹐我未寬恕伴侶欺騙我﹐原因是﹕我也曾經欺騙他人﹐或者﹐我覺得自己愚蠢﹐居然被騙多年。當我批判自己﹐便需要創造「敵人」﹐來掩飾對自己的批判。換言之﹐每個「敵人」﹐都是上天賜給我的禮物﹐要我學懂寬恕。所以﹐「敵人」不斷出現﹐課題不斷重覆﹐痛苦永無止境﹐直到我學懂為止。

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其實﹐沒有任何人有能力傷害我。一切傷害﹐必須經過我的認可和演繹﹐才能發生。若內心充滿愛﹐即使對方全心傷害我﹐我只會看到對方可憐可悲﹐因而激發更大的慈悲心。沒有我的認可﹐誰能傷害我呢﹖

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真正寬恕﹐是為自己的生命完全負責任﹐拔除內疚的刺﹐接納無條件的愛﹐體驗到人性本具自足的清淨。即使對方犯錯﹐自己何嘗沒錯﹐何必拿起第一塊石頭擲向對方。當我放過自己﹐在愛裡成長﹐自然輕鬆地寬恕任何人﹐與誰都和諧共處﹐每個人都是我感恩的「另一半」﹐是我一直逃避的「另一半自己」。

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愛﹐始于寬恕﹐是無條件的﹐不是等待對方道歉﹐我才去寬恕。即使對方未懂悔過﹐我仍能寬恕﹐因為﹐即使是最卑劣的惡行﹐也不是對方的本質﹐而是我和對方都未放下的妄念和壞習慣。既然我不想他人批判我﹐我又何苦批判他人呢﹖关键不是對方是否值得被宽恕,而是我還要折磨自己多久﹖

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換言之﹐寬恕不是縱容﹐不是遺忘過去﹐更不是假裝事情沒有發生。相反﹐寬恕是真正面對﹐不再用內疚去鞭撻自己﹐不再用悲傷去捆綁自己。

有人說﹐時間治癒一切﹐其實不是這樣。時間可以沖淡﹐但某天遇到某君﹐仍會隱隱作痛。唯獨寬恕自己﹐才真正放下﹐體驗到你我她﹐其實都是永無止境的創造過程。

寬恕﹐讓我身心健康﹑表裡如一﹑睡眠飽滿。
寬恕﹐讓我充滿力量﹑釋放自己﹑自由飛翔。

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2 thoughts on “愛,始於寬恕

  • 14/03/2012 at 10:13 pm
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    轉帖上篇到個人facebook上與眾友分享。

    華山導師的這篇短文好像融會貫通了基督教和佛教理念的精髓,卻又很生活化。
    “寬恕”聽起來很熟,卻屢屢做不到。自知常被“埋怨”陋習困擾,現在對“寬恕”多幾分理解,會更願意付諸行動了。

  • 12/10/2012 at 6:00 pm
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    Many people (including myself) don’t really understand why we have to forgive someone ….. but after I open my heart and feel the happiness of being able to forgive someone, I see the goodness of doing so ….. !

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